retrospective introspective

oh man. it's been a while. a long while. i've just wasted a good amount of time on going through this blog and reminiscing about all the shit it chronicles. i havent posted on this thing in a year or so, and oddly enough, i always seem to return to my little corner of the internet in the winter time.
2010. it's strange to look back on that time. so much has changed, and i mean that goes without saying, but the realization really struck me hard as i was reading through these pages. my future seems to exclude all that went down. thank heavens. i think its necessary to point out (for my own benefit, obviously,) that despite the emotional pain i was put through in the summer of 2010, it was an immense learning experience, and my life is better in part thanks to it.

well i guess i gotta go do homework.
just in parting, if i ever see this place again, i want it to be up here for the record..




my life kicks ass right now. hahahahaha

the color returns..

this is fantastic. im at such a great time of my life. an angel has entered, and made it all more bearable. and fresh, exciting, fun, exhilarating.

beautiful.


not flawless.

but amazing....





i feel a constant high. an irreversible, wondrous daze; but not the synthetic, rough kind. not the kind that drains you of mental and physical faculty. one that fills you up, makes you strong and ready to live to the fullest. this is a different kind of substance; a delicate balance of atmosphere and mood and feeling that is received through the sharing of happiness.


it's all so much to take in. everytime i'm with you, i feel soaked in thoughts and tries and feelings and words. but none of these thoughts are shameful, none of the words wrong, none of the feelings in vain, and none of the tries have failed..

i count myself among the lucky individuals who have experienced purity and raw happiness. i can't tell how long this will last, but i know for sure i'm going to do my best to keep it healthy and fresh as time goes on.

you're too valuable to waste with carelessness.

(:

hello again

hmmm... so many memories in this blog. so many. it's odd, really; this blog was created as a method of coping with a troubled time in my life, something that seems so distant from the sunny todays. i hadn't posted on this in a couple months.. it's odd to come back. oddly welcoming. i know no one reads this, but it's here, and it's proud of itself. not really.

sonnet

If I can take a step towards the goal
And shake the hand of future times to come
Ignore the reservations that you stole
And take the time to see to where I run
Forget all lost emotions from the past
(Of love, the likes of which was never seen)
For all these thoughts that I’ve amassed
They take a greater toll than what may seem
You too can let your mind remain at ease
And take a square of joy for many lives
Recall what you would never want to see
And you can learn to think outside the lines
In several hours you will be with us
If you can learn to love who you mistrust

Jake Martin
12/7/10

the management

MGMT were absolutely ridiculous. November 4th was the best concert I have ever gone to. Absolutely beautiful. Haha I don't even have words to describe it. You had to be there.

FUCK OFF

an island of stupidity, again, again, again....

i will back off. why im saying this, i dont have the faintest idea, but i think i should back off. i guess i just want to jump at the opportunity at having you back next to me, and im forgetting about what matters. take from it what you will.

i will back off. i promise.