restrictions/restricted

stuck inside a limbo
the never ending gasp
the fallow lips of life meet the harsh sting of reality

left inside my veins
to grow and develop into life
then to travel to my heart where the process is completed

i feel trapped beneath a
beautiful layer of ice on top a creek
the puzzling surface, so light, fragile, yet constricting and scalding

starting over, not a difficult task
yet for some reason taken to the extreme
you need not apologize, or make sense for once because
that would defeat its own purpose
a “c” and a colon, is all it takes to make today seem brighter
as if the old pg pulled up in his own private sun
a false pretense
a piece of paper
a drink
laminar flow, the two words that enter my mind every time
no matter what you tell yourself, it will always be you who’s getting used

sting and love
were you erring on the side of caution?
when i make it up, and even though the future reflects itself
i have no mirror to communicate
to another man

reality melts into shapes
that do not exist in conventional geometry
the spirit leaves the atmosphere above and around
and to cut the heart, to let loneliness leave you be

it seems to make the soul happier when mine is around
and all of mine will always feel the glow within the soul
yet the other one is getting priority over all of mine and it will not let mine sleep
well, it will, but the sleep will be restless
self defeating
as is everything these days

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so yes, i pulled a total dumbass move today. apparently i went to get coffee with my newly adopted sister under false pretenses.

oops.

well, at least it wasnt a huge deal, just got one of those speeches. but it wasnt that bad, my parents make me happy, they are really great about stuff like that.

even though when i went to get coffee, i never thought id be getting tea instead.

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im going to see mgmt in november, im psyched.

destrokk has the best video on the face of the planet ;D

redirect

stormy ocean water and the name of your love
started up my engine and became a white dove
over it and lost again
distracted cause youre under him

when the ethereal fist hits the smallest part
and the lifeless crystal river floats me back
to sea
to see
again

your face turns sour
and the irony thats left
turns into a flower
with the insulting speed of theft

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a few months down the road, who knows what could happen? but if the tragedy does hit, i wont put myself so low as to remain to clean up the results.. if thats what is expected of me, then forget it.

kill me, you know you want to

your heart is under my tongue

something that has been bothering me recently is that you seem to be different. for some reason, youre like a completely new person. now, i dont know if its just now something im starting to notice, something thats been there all along; or if you really did change into something unpleasant... i hope its the former, but really i hope its neither, that im just delusional or tired or pissed off or something, because i wouldnt be happy if either were true.

but, then again, why does it matter?

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theres this fucking huge disconnect that people have from reality. its like everybody is acting in such a phony and calculating manner that they dont have time to live, and to realize whats happening... looking through photos makes me think about when and under what circumstances they were taken, and i notice that usually im not there for the picture, but for the moment. sounds like a god damn cliché, but its true, i promise.

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it is rather late. well, not really, but apparently im about as fucking tired as i can get, yet im still not asleep. i feel like a two faced bastard when i talk to her, cause i cant make up my god damn mind about, well, anything. i want these people to disappear, but at the same time i know i would have a very difficult time getting by without them. the scars that have built up over the years, the assumptions, all that crap.. i cant understand how anyone turns out alright.

build a wall, i suppose.

i dont have any god damn bricks.

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oh wells..