Wednesday, June 23, 2010

the amateurs we once were

the music you make with every delicate move
the sound of your voice as it carries through
my day and on
past the worries caused by others
into a perfect world
whose perfection lies in the fact that no one wants to
make it perfect
i lie here in a position that reminds me
of the one time we have shared
secret, sacred, but not very special
not at all, on the surface
but, see, in my mind, it is only you
hard to believe, but at the same time
completely obvious
your worried, lovely face
brings a smile to my own
when the sight of you is all that fills my mind
for weeks at a time
it gets to be normal
it is never tiresome, just like the old friend you always know will be there
even if he has always been there, the spring in your step
the harmony to your melody
the catch to your fall
and dependency is an important thing for anyone
for there are apparent reasons things change
but they change for reasons that arent very apparent at all
it is unfair to claim that nothing matters
because it does
it is unfair to claim that life isnt fair
because thats just restating an apparent fact, and making it sound new
clinically clean
with no blood on its hands, not
stained to the bone with the ruby and silver
essence of life
and essence of the end
ultimately the time will come
and its not really worth remembering things that have happened
that weren't worth it, even at the time
the bad things make me want to remember the happier ones
for even though every coin has two sides
it is still one coin, and doesnt determine anything
besides the fact that the eternal geometry of probability
is still in order
and the fact that we love to assign meanings to things in our minds
the only thing that has really stayed that way over the years
for ultimately it will take somebody to throw
the rock into the fire of lies
and a tree will grow, for that rock was actually a seed of new life
that takes root in the
scalded ground
and the smell of your hair stays forever
and ever
for the sole reason that forever truly is
a very long time
and in the end, will it matter?
count the times you said your goodbyes
and lived for nothing else but
the next chance to crush another being
or be a beam for them
support through the rain and thunder and love
and not fail until your breaking point
which wont be for a long time since you are made of good quality material
your snapshots of life
and family
will return
your handshakes, oh the handshakes that have seemed so petty at times
and the conflicts, they remain
think about it
but not too much
and think about what you say now
for ultimately the time will come for us to say hello
but this time for real
this time we will mean it


odes written to sing praise are like losing your thought half way through the sentence....

i want to sleep in space tonight.
i want to color the stars with the pure spirit of sincerity and integrity.
i want to lose my mind
and find it again
i dont want to come back to what will sure be all my fault

if i could forget, i wouldnt choose to do so.
my three wishes would all go to waste
along with my three fishes.
poor little guys.

i want to sleep with you on the roof of love and strawberry starlight
till the dark sun eats the people whole,
its full stomach consuming all of their dreams and fears
and belches shadows and doubts, and their reciprocal equivalents

i want to lose my mind for one last time
to see what its like
to finally be free

1 comment: