being exhausted physically and mentally makes me feel like on really strong drugs, with the difference that i dont feel boundless. its kind of like being in an open minefield, where you could go anywhere, but you also know that your next step will throw you up into the air. the mines, in my case, are the things i say late at night when im in my state of being emotional and hopeless. one misstep will throw the whole fucking planet up in glorious flames, and my world will only exist in the hostile iciness, yet boundless freedom of interstellar space. i will be set into motion and drift forever, on past stars and planets, until i will be brought right back where i started, since space bends in a way that's impossible to imagine.. i could float and let the current take me where the water's crystal clear.
the time and effort put into this is still worth it, but so far i have been getting a slap in the face and an apology all at the same time. i told you i would wait for as long as i had to, and i have.. and yet you ask me if i thought you would stay sober in dating. i honestly dont know what to say to a person who has simultaneously acted incredibly loving and incredibly ungrateful. i suppose the paradoxes and ironies are what make you so interesting, but at the same time, cool it. i'll wait and stay here until this blows over, because, apparently, thats all im good for: waiting and being there for you. peace out man.
line break, DUDE!
honesty is a handicap, i understand that.
a standing ovation, just tip your hat.
that, my friends,
is how it ends.
maybe we can be like a pair of contrasts!! i'll still be what i am, you stay the course. of course, of course.. stop while youre ahead, my dear. you know what the rule of holes is?? when youre in one, STOP DIGGING.
return to me, for a little while at least. i would appreciate it if you could tell me what happened, or at least made an effort to make things like they were. at the end of this, i think that one of us is going to be fucked over, and i really hope its he rather than i.
oh, and, for the love of god, stop digging.